The asinine noise hodgepodge that corrodes our society
Published on Sunday, May 29th 2003 on The San Juan Star"Noise (computer science): Irrelevant or meaningless data generated by a computer along with the desired data" (The American Heritage Illustrated Encyclopedic Dictionary). By that definition, our current government administration must be the noisiest ever to have ruled in Puerto Rico's history. It generates so much meaningless data that has nothing to do with governing, and in so doing spends so much time and effort, that it cannot really govern. Its self gratification comes only from criticizing the previous "corrupt" administration and making noise. To some examples.
Noise: Three hundred thousand flawed notices of tax debt were sent to Puerto Rican taxpayers. Some dealt with debts that had been paid, others with debts that had expired. It was not specified whether the debtors were PDP or NPP. But, the burden of proof being on the taxpayer, the Treasury Department was hoping for submissive and quiescent compliance from those who were unable to find supporting evidence on their behalf. The notices are a noisy effort to boost Treasury's sagging revenues. It was hoped that some taxpayers would be suckered into paying anyway. The governor fired off a letter to the Secretary of the Treasury demanding immediate corrective measures. The governor sent the wrong letter. She should have also demanded his immediate corrective resignation.
Noise: A recent poll reveals that incumbent governor Sila Calderón will be defeated in the next elections no matter who from the "corrupt blues" runs against her. Public opinion perceives that the governor has achieved "nothing". She has governed only on noise. The governor surrenders and pulls out of the race. Puerto Rico will now have nineteen months of lame duck government. All attention will go towards boosting a "new generation whiz kid dream team" of substitutes. The PDP is making much noise celebrating as if they had already elected a new government. The noisy euphoria will pass. All they have really accomplished is an impromptu selection of those who will appear on the ballot. The NPP should beware! The PDP solved its ballot in apparent peace and bliss. The NPP squabble over their ballot hasn't even started yet. Maybe Carlos Pesquera should emulate the governor and get the hell out of the way.
Noise: Alida Arizmendi has yet to be assigned a Special Independent Prosecutor (SIP) by the Department of Justice to look into her campaign funds hanky-panky. Arizmendi has made noise against the governor and the PDP. If the SIP were appointed and were to "discover" what Arizmendi has already admitted -that some of her campaign moneys and efforts were illegally deviated towards the already topped campaign account of gubernatorial candidate Sila Calderón- then the secretary of Justice would find herself in the noisy situation of either having to prosecute the lame-duck governor (no longer her political boss), or resigning for not rising to her constitutional mandate of upholding justice. I did say "if".
Noise: Aníbal Acevedo Vilá has been a lackluster Resident Commissioner in Washington, D.C. His penalty now is to become part of the new whiz kid dream team and run for mayor of San Juan against unbeatable Jorge Santini. He has been shamelessly and brutally dumped. He is not as cute. He can't possibly win San Juan, and he has been obliterated as a reelection candidate for Resident Commissioner. Right now he isn't going anywhere. He is the first sacrificial lamb and scapegoat of the noise generated by governor Calderón's surrender. They have essentially told him "Goodbye, Aníbal. Don't go away mad. Just go away."
Noise: Puerto Rico has lost favor as an investment magnet. Why? There are no worse blind than those who refuse to see, my grandmother used to say. Puerto Rico is xenophobic. Puerto Rico is anti-gringo. We fight off Dominican investors (sugar cane), Venezuelan investors (chickens), yet we surrender our vital circulatory and excretory infrastructural systems (drinking water and sanitary wastewater) to overseas concerns, provided they are not gringo, of course. But -alas!- all anti-gringo noise is squelched by our fearless leaders when they travel to Washington, D.C., palm upward. We are making much noise about the purity, validity, and utility of the language of Cervantes (Spanish, to some, although there are many different languages throughout Spain) while aggressively showing disdain towards the filthy language of Shakespeare. Yet no one has ever demanded a Spanish version of American currency. That form of American expression we gleefully accept, even if it is in English.
Noise: Our plastic Secretary of State loses his officially assigned personal weapon. He shouldn't have negligently left it lying about. He should have promptly reported its loss to the Police. He hungers for the top job at the Supreme Court. Neglecting an assigned weapon is a felony. He is making noises to have his secretary take the rap so that he is squeaky clean to take Chief Justice Antonio Andreu's job. What? A Chief Justice who, it seems, plots to manipulate police records on his behalf and incriminate others?
Wow!