Wouldn’t it be nice to have a campaign without insults?
Published on Sunday, February 28th 1999 on The San Juan StarSome of our political figures are firmly convinced that their obligated, mandated, and required role in life is to be eager, willing and able to insult the opponent on a moment's notice. They believe that the rest of us mortals would feel betrayed or disappointed if our politicos were not constantly striving to demonstrate that they are the sublime masters of verbal assault and battery; that they have forked, whip-like tongues always at the ready; and that they have absolutely no fear of engaging the enemy in mortal verbal duels. Even some of our female public figures have an almost macho compulsion to join in the fray. It is all a waste of talent. And at times it is an insult to our collective intelligence. Puerto Rico has what Puerto Rico deserves.
Take a governor's state of the island message before the Legislature, or a governor's budget presentation, for example: any governor, any party, at any time. Not only is the message prepared beforehand, but the replies and derogatory comments are also ready well ahead of time. It's as if every one had "clip insults" or "clip clichés" similar to clip art in some computer program, and then did a quick cut-and-paste job as soon as they saw a microphone, a recorder, a note pad, or a TV camera. To the governor's supporters, the ones that are seen smiling, the message is always "masterful", "clear", "thorough", "brilliant", "visionary", "responsible", "mature", and "with a sense of mission for the future." To the detractors, the ones that are seen with cardboard faces, the message is always "hollow", "unimaginative", "incomplete", "irresponsible", "not carefully thought out", "a partisan political campaign", "shoddy", and "self-serving". So what else is new?
If this were a better world, the supporters would quickly implement the positive programs proposed, and the detractors would quickly correct what they found at fault, and then improve and endorse the whole package. Dreaming? Hey, there is hope.
What if the likes of Antonia Coello de Novello, Ileana Colón Carlo and Carlos Ignacio Pesquera were cloned, and for the next election we were forced to pick from a menu of candidates of their stature? There is so much merit behind each one of those candidates-to-be that the electorate would have to screen individual assets instead of anticipating campaign diatribe against one another's liabilities.
Maybe it's too much to ask. People might get thrown off balance and begin to wonder whether a real political campaign was in progress or not. If there is no insult or slander, their level of enthusiasm may not rise high enough to induce them into the voting booths. After all, I remember back when one truly outstanding political candidate was destroyed when accused of being a bolitero and the campaign against him made synonymous with the number 315. That was a "good" campaign. That's the kind of campaign attitude that the "clip insults" thrive upon. And I hate to have to recognize that that's the kind of electoral campaign that most people expect. After all, what has been the common advice received by Novello, Colón Carlo and Pesquera up to now? That they have to be prepared to get dirty. Can you believe it? Yes! That they have to grit their teeth and develop thick skins! If you do not know what thick skins are for in politics, it is to bounce off insult.
What if the next campaign was wielded with resumes instead of with shady gossip? No, I guess it wouldn't be any fun. Campaigns in Puerto Rico have to be fun. As fun as cockfights. After all, political campaigning is our number one sport.
Ah, yes, and political campaigns have to be expensive! A primary for selecting the candidate for mayor of San Juan will easily cost two million dollars. Two million dollars to challenge one of your own political party! Then, when you face off with the opponent from the other party, you may easily spend three or four times that amount. After all, some campaign techniques require that you preempt –purchase– all the available commercial prime time on television so that your opponent has no room to air his campaign messages, and this is done months ahead of time. For newspapers, it's easy. They can always increase their number of pages. But TV cannot increase the number of minutes in one hour of prime time. And, besides, who want's to buy TV air time past midnight?
If we want to elect able politicians who will serve Puerto Rico respectfully and well, why is it that as candidates we demand that they demonstrate their talents for rabble rousing and for being spendthrifts? If that is what we as voters expect, maybe we shouldn't complain about who we put up there.