Toñita, how could you enter local politics?
Published on Sunday, January 31st 1999 on The San Juan StarToñita, how could you? You have really upset the Second Law of Thermodynamics in San Juan, Puerto Rico. You know, the one that says that the whole universe is going to pot unless someone inputs the energy to save it? You have, in one flash appearance, proven my other two favorite universal laws as well: (a) good people are bad for the party, and (b) people who are right are wrong for the party. This can happen only in a democracy. You see, in a democracy the majority rules.
Remember that the statistical Normal Distribution Curve reigns over any population. This curve is shaped like a bell. The thin lip at the lower left represents the really stupid, the morons, the nincompoops. Not too many of those, thank God. The thin lip at the lower right represents the world class people, the geniuses, the really bright, the ones-in-a-lifetime. The people like you. Not too many of those either, unfortunately. The main body of the curve are the not-too-stupid and the not-too-smart: the majority. The mediocre. As we said, in a democracy the majority –the mediocre– rule. So what else is new? No one said the majority had to be elitist.
Now, how could you? How could anyone who has been so eminently successful in a world-class scenario, who as a physician became head honcho –Surgeon General of the United States and head of the Public Health Service– and who as a pediatrician has become the United Nations advocate for children's health the world over, opt to become head in a small class scenario such as the NPP San Juan party politics? Small class scenario because of small size and because of small whatever else. Remember the law: good people are bad. Do you really want to be mayor of San Juan? How much space will that occupy in your resumé? Don't you realize that there are people here who have been playing local party politics a lot longer than you have? Maybe you're doing this because you remember what I taught in class about Darwin and the survival of the fittest. Yes, that still holds true in class, but not in San Juan party politics. In San Juan party politics it is about the survival of the first, not the fittest. They were here first. How could you?
You have to read between the lines here. You are too dangerous. Remember a mayor of San Juan who ran for governor and became governor? His initials were CRB. Remember two mayors of San Juan who ran for governor and barely made it? Their initials were Hernán Padilla and Baltasar Corrada del Río. Remember a municipal health director of San Juan who also became governor? His initials are Pedro Rosselló. The lady than now runs San Juan is darn good, and the party she serves has nothing of her stature to pit against Pedro Rosselló in the Year 2000, so she too may have to run for governor. Being mayor of San Juan is like being heir or heiress apparent to the governorship. You, Toñita, are too much governor material to be put so close to Fortaleza. Let me rephrase that. You are too much governor material to be put so close to being mayor of San Juan. Simple as that. The ones who were here first are raving mad only because they know what a threat to them you really are.
You have shaken people up. They are simply not going to allow it. That is why there must be a showing of whether this is about the survival of the fittest or the survival of the first. This is politics versus class. Politics always win. So, read between the lines! I am not saying that you cannot enter San Juan party politics because of your enviable and envied class. What I am saying is that class can enter party politics. And win. We have a precedent. Ask Don Luis Ferré.
And what's this about your being a paratrooper into Puerto Rico? I thought you were from Humacao. The threat of personal stains should not bother you. That too is politics. All parties. Stains can always be invented and spread, and they will. But they will have more stains on them by doing so. You have worn Latex gloves before.
You could have stayed out of all this. You could have become a marine scientist instead of a physician. The only problem was the very feminine vanity of coming out of a dive and having wet and soggy hair dripping the rest of the day. There were no hand-held hair dryers back when you were in my class.
Maybe I should just get you a hair dryer.